Saturday, October 15, 2016

Week 6 Notes from Sister Bowen

Efeméride: T. S. Eliot
 (T.S Eliot)
Dear Class,
Welcome to your Test #1 week, and our first week learning about modernism.
Reflecting on Week 5:
There was quite a bit of reading and writing to do last week, and I loved seeing your posts examining themes, symbols, how to achieve happiness, and what can be learned by studying Bishop Latour, Father Vaillant, and Death Comes to the Archbishop. I look forward to revisiting your posts at the start of this week and grading all of the Week 5 work by Thursday. Here is my class-wide feedback for the Week 4 work submitted:
  • Please use third person voice, present tense as you discuss literature, MLA format, and correct grammar and punctuation. If you lose points on your small assignments, evaluate whether or not you have followed these guidelines. Email me if you are confused about why you received a specific score.
  • Make sure to follow instructions. Double check the instructions.
  • Paste your submissions in the comment box instead of attaching them. The ONLY times you will attach documents are when you post your essay drafts in your Peer Review Discussion boards and when you submit your final Essays 1 and 2. You'll attach them then because your peers and I will embed comments on your work. I don't embed comments on your small assignments or tests, so please paste them. I know the directions for small assignments say to attach documents, but please don't.  
  • The quality of your writing is improving as you work to craft your submissions carefully.
Looking Forward to Week 6:
The most significant challenge of the week will be crafting a strong Test #1 essay, so let's talk about that first:

  • First things first: After reading through this Announcements page, the Introduction page, and Test #1 Preparation page, click on the Test #1 Instructions page, print out the questions, and begins outlining essays for each of the questions. You may take the test any time during Week 6, but know you need to be done by 11 pm on Saturday evening, and the test is (supposed to be) timed--you have two hours to complete it. This test is great preparation for taking the GRE, if you see that in your future.
  • I will score your Test #1 essay according to the four categories listed on the Test #1 Preparation page: Content, Organization, Language, and Source Integration. Note that you need to use MLA formatting for everything in our class.
  • My hope is to grade your Test #1 essays by the Thursday of Week 7 so you can see how you fared on the exam before submitting your Essay #1.
  • I-Learn 3 calls Test #1 a quiz. Please don't treat this assignment like a quiz. It is worth 100 points, and requires your time and diligence. As of this evening (Saturday), the test isn't timed. Please limit yourself to two hours.
  • The instructions are vague for the "Modernism in Prufrock" assignment. Treat the writing assignment like Test #1, where you demonstrate strong content, organization, language, and source integration. But balance your time appropriately. Test #1 is worth 100 points, whereas the Prufrock assignment is only worth 10 points.
  • Be sure to complete a thorough peer review this week. Peer Review assignments will be posted in Peer Review Discussion Board #1 on Monday morning. Follow the directions I have posted there carefully to serve well and earn full points.
  • Remember to post on at least two days in Questions for Your Classmates.
  • There is no reading quiz this week!
  • Also, it is time for mid-term reviews. Please be sure to fill one out to help me know what is working well for you so far, and what might need improvement.
Spiritual Thread:
In the adult session of Stake Conference tonight, a woman I respect very much declared something to this effect: "When I look backward, I get depressed. When I look forward, I feel anxiety. But I can feel peace and faith and hope right now." This made me think of Elder Holland's dinosaur picture from last conference, and the talk that went with it.
What are you doing to move forward with hope and peace?
Dinosaur chasing children
You are in my prayers, and I can't wait to see what you create this week!
Sincerely,
Sister Bowen

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Week 5 Study Group Clarification and Rubric Reminder

Dear Class,
Many of you have already posted insights in your study groups about themes and symbols from the text. I love what I am reading so far. If you're confused about this assignment, read the instructions on the Week 5.02 Themes and Symbols Instructions page and then click on the Week 5.02 Lesson 11 discussion board. You'll see your group number posted there, and you'll address the corresponding prompt for that number. Be sure to offer feedback on your study group mates' posts on that board per instructions.
Also, as you draft Essay #1 for our class (remember that the draft is due this Saturday!), review the rubric posted on the Week 5.10 Peer Review Discussion Board. For every small assignment you submit, and for all your major assignments, I use this rubric. I am always looking for content, organization, language, and source integration. Each category is worth 25 points in Essay #1. Please make sure you meet the following requirements:
  • sufficient content (5-6 pages of textual support and analysis, excluding the Works cited page)
  • great organization (including a thesis in the last sentence of your introductory paragraph that serves as a road map for the rest of your essay and topic sentences that stem from the thesis in order)
  • beautiful, clear writing, wherein every word counts
  • MLA formatting used throughout the piece.
I am attaching a student sample essay to help you see how one student worked to honor the rubric requirements and how I interacted with the text and scored it. I hope this all helps; email me if you have any questions or concerns.
Sincerely,
Sister Bowen

(post Amy's Essay 1 with Sister Bowen's Feedback 1-1)



Amy Carpenter
Sister Bowen
ENG 335
4 June 2016

War Deglamorized: The Story of Editha
            William Dean Howells“Editha” [TB1] is a short story that exposes not only the realities of war, but also the false sentiments that were held by many people of the early 20th century, the time period in which Editha was written and set, that war is glamorous. It brilliantly challenges the notion that war is glorious and unveils the suffering, pain, and devastation that war leaves in its path. While Editha, the story’s title character, naively believes that participation in war is the duty of every upstanding young man, the text reveals that perhaps war is not always necessary, let alone anyone’s duty. Throughout “Editha” war is deglamorized through each of Howell’s symbolic characters: Editha embodies the falsely romanticized view of war; George, her fiancé, represents the questionable nature of war; and George’s mother illustrates the pain and destruction caused by war. [TB2] 
            It becomes apparent almost immediately in the text that Editha is an immature, impressionable young girl. [TB3] With these qualities, she becomes characterized as someone foolish and simultaneously disqualifies herself as a credible character in the story. She is naive and rash,; two characteristics that make for a dangerous combination. Barely after the opening of the text, George simply mentions war and then kisses Editha. “She kissed him back intensely, but irrelevantly, as to their passion, and uttered from deep in her throat. How glorious!” (54). It is entirely[TB4]  evident that Editha is impulsive and immature as she kisses George “irrelevantly.” Her naivety is likewise acknowledged as she claims that war is “glorious”; ”, [TB5] an idea that she has no basis for aside from the “war feeling” in the air (54).
            As the text continues, Editha’s romanticized view of war becomes even more apparent and even more foolish. Her melodramatic nature becomes clear very early on: “But making light of a cause so high and noble seemed to show a want of earnestness at the core of [George’s] being” (54). She also later shows herself to be thoughtless and insensitive regarding war and George. She feels that she must “sacrifice anything to the high ideal she had for him” (54-55). This passage blatantly shows Editha’s thoughtlessness as well as her romanticized view of war, given that she considers a soldier the “ideal.” Because of the idyllic picture she has conjured in her mind, she makes it clear that if George refrains from going to war, he will be a disappointment to her. She further proves herself insensitive when after George’s death and her subsequent encounter with George’s mother, she relates to the woman sketching her that George’s mother “wasn’t quite in her right mind” (66), simply because she was grieving and upset with Editha for pushing George into a war that he did not even support.
            George’s character deglamorizes war from the start as he calls its necessity into question. The first thing that George says about war is that it “breaks the peace of the world” (55). This idea is one that has not been examined until this point in the text, since Editha has continuously reflected upon the necessity of war. This question itself becomes a theme for the text — is war necessary? George further establishes this idea as he sardonically notes that their country must be supported “right or wrong” (55). This is an idea that Editha fervently agrees with, but it also blatantly[TB6]  suggests that perhaps what their country is doing is wrong.
            George later reasons, “I suppose that at the bottom of his heart every man would like at times to have his courage tested, to see how he would act” (56). He informs Editha that this would be the only reason he would go to war, because even though she believes it is a “holy war,” (56) he does not. He even proclaims that it is not this particular war that he has a problem with, “though this [war] seems peculiarly wanton and needless; but it's every war --so stupid; it makes me sick. Why shouldn't this thing have been settled reasonably?” (57). This logic again penetrates the very question of the work itself as to whether war is ever necessary. George is a striking contrast to the senseless Editha, who says things such as “God meant it to be war,” with absolutely no foundation for her argument (57). While Editha seems inane and frivolous, George seems significant and insightful. As George provides this contrast, he establishes himself as a highly credible character. He asks heartfelt and thought-provoking questions, and he becomes the voice of reason throughout this short work.
            In spite of this, George does eventually succumb to Editha’s request to go to war only in an effort to secure her heart and their future. He does this much to the chagrin of his adoring mother, whose fears for her son are confirmed when she receives word shortly thereafter that he has been killed. Editha goes to visit her, as she promised George she would if he passed away at war (62), and her visit with Mrs. Gearson is far from pleasant. It is clear that Editha realizes that she is at least partly at fault for George’s death. (Unfortunately, as mentioned earlier, she later proves to be too immature to take responsibility for her part in George’s death when she is speaking to the woman sketching her.) Editha speaks to Mrs. Gearson “more like a culprit than a comforter” (65), acknowledging the guilt that she feels. Mrs. Gearson is devastated at the loss of her son. It is obvious that at least on some level, Editha realizes that George’s death is because of her hasty and foolish behavior.
            The pain that Mrs. Gearson feels is evidenced through her anger at Editha. She has lost one of her sons and she knows that he would not have gone to war if it had not been for his foolish fiancé. “I suppose you would have been glad to die, such a brave person as you! I don't believe he was glad to die. He was always a timid boy, that way; he was afraid of a good many things; but if he was afraid he did what he made up his mind to” (65). Her sarcasm in calling Editha “a brave person” is an illustration of the frustration and heartbreak that George’s mother feels. Mrs. Gearson becomes an even more poignant representation of the destruction and pain caused by war when she exclaims, “I had already been through one war before” (65). This suggests that war had already affected George’s mother’s life in a negative way, and she blames Editha for the pain that she is feeling this second time. Mrs. Gearson points out on a larger scale the pain felt by everyone who has lost a loved one at war — “You thought it would be alright for my George, your George, to kill the sons of those miserable mothers and the husbands of those girls that you would never see the faces of” (66).  The text again beautifully illustrates her indignation toward Editha as Mrs. Gearson asks her, What you got that black on for?” She continues, "Take it off, take it off, before I tear it from your back!” (66). Her emotional demand depicts the pain and anguish she has felt at the loss of her son, as well as the wrath she feels toward the person whom she feels has caused his death and is thereby unworthy to mourn his loss.
            Each character in “Editha” plays a vital role. Editha portrays to the reader that her view of war was is unfounded through her negative qualities and lack of credibility as a main character. George’s thoughtfulness, on the other hand, provides a powerful contrast to her thoughtlessness and inspires the idea that war is not, or at least not always, essential. Mrs. Gearson further solidifies this concept through her anger that is a result of much pain and suffering. Each of these characters works together to tear down the romanticized and glamorous view of war as noble and God-inspired, and builds the idea that war does a great deal more bad than it does good.[TB7] 

Works Cited

Howells, William Dean. “Editha." American Literature. Vol. II. William E. Cain. New York: Penguin Academics, 2004. 54-66. Print.

AREA
AUDIENCE NEEDS
POINTS
AWARDED
POINTS
POSSIBLE
CONTENT
FOCUS:  Can the audience restate the document's main idea? Will the audience consider the document’s scope to be neither too broad nor too narrow?
DEVELOPMENT:  Is the audience satisfied with how thoroughly the subject has been explored?
LOGIC:  Does the audience see the reasoning as sound, sensible, and free of fallacies?
EVIDENCE:  Is the audience satisfied with the amount of direct support provided (i.e., details, examples, surveys, statistics, quotations, textual references, etc)?
24




25
ORGANIZATION
STRUCTURE:  Can the audience follow and recall the document's organization?
UNITY:  Can the audience see how each detail, paragraph, and section contribute to the document's main idea?
25


25
LANGUAGE
CLARITY:  Does the audience understand the document without having to re-read sentences or guess at intended meaning?
STYLE:  Is the audience comfortable with the way sentence structure, tone, and vocabulary convey meaning?
MECHANICS:  Is the audience comfortable with the level of grammatical and mechanical control?
23



25
SOURCE INTEGRATION
INTEGRATION:  Is the audience comfortable with how needed source material is worked into the document?
DOCUMENTATION:  Is the audience satisfied with how needed sources are documented?
25


25
GRAND TOTAL =
___97____      /100
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS: This is an incredibly strong piece, and I’d love to use it as a sample. For an additional point or two, I’d love to see you submit a revision that addresses my feedback. It’s your choice. I would really like to see you include a powerful “so what” at the end.






 [TB1]Correct formatting for short story.
 [TB2]Strong thesis!
 [TB3]Great topic sentence stemming from thesis
 [TB4]Necessary? Make every word count
 [TB5]Study semi-colon and comma rules
 [TB6]Again, the word feels unnecessarily. I’m pointing out small things because your prose is beautiful, overall.
 [TB7]Excellent summation, but I’d like to see the “so-what?” takeaway. What should the reader think or do as a result of this knowledge?
 

Saturday, October 8, 2016

Week 5 Notes (Fall 2016)

This is modern day Acoma Pueblo in New Mexico. Click on the image to ...
Dear Class,
Above, I've posted a map of New Mexico from 1772, and a picture of modern-day Acuma. I look forward to seeing how you respond to Cather's work.
Reflecting on Week 4:
Last week, you did such a nice job analyzing elements of naturalist writing and feminine roles. I was particularly appreciative of the real-life examples you used to demonstrate feminism and gender concerns today, the textual support you used to demonstrate your naturalist claims, and all the lively dialogue that took place in the "Questions for Your Classmates" discussion board. Grading your Week 3 work was a pleasure because most of you used ample source support and strong analysis, and presented clear organization and prose. I love that you are crafting your small assignments with care. Keep working to use third person voice and use commas and apostrophes correctly.
 
Looking Forward to Week 5:
  • This week, you will need to read a whole book, submit your Essay #1 draft on the Peer Review Discussion Board #1, review some lectures, participate on discussion boards, and submit some work centered on the seven deadly sins.
  • Don't sweat the Seven Deadly Sins assignment. If you can't find a specific passage that proves your claim, just describe the event. This assignment should take no more than one hour. Students on campus fill in this worksheet within their one hour of class time. If you want to print out the sheet and just scribble your answers as you read--and then email me a picture of your worksheet--feel free. Your focus this week should be crafting a fantastic draft of Essay 1 and working through the book.
  • This week, you will get important advise about how to prepare for your upcoming exam (due at the end of Week 6!) and craft your first major essay (due at the end of Week 7!).
  • You have a lot to do now and during the next few weeks. But here is some good news: you may use any of your posts from the first four weeks of class as a springboard for your five-page essay.
  • Remember the feedback I have made about your small writing assignments: I am looking for clear, organized work that fully addresses the prompts posted. Even though this may sound like an annoyance--being graded for how well you write, and how well you develop your arguments--it will help you become stronger writers and it is therefore worth it.
Spiritual Thread:
Who has been a Bishop Latour or Father Vaillant figure in your life, and what difference has this person made?
Sincerely,
Sister Bowen

Monday, October 3, 2016

Week 4 Notes, Fall 2016


Dear Class,

Welcome to another week of perusing beautifully written text. I cringed my way through some of it, and I look forward to seeing your reactions this week. Remember that your draft of Essay 1 is due at the end of next week!

Reflecting on Week 3:

Last week, we dealt with incredibly sensitive subject matter. I appreciated your candid, thoughtful assessments. Thank you for creating thoughtful posts and also for engaging in the discussion boards. We don't need to convince each other that we are right--we just need to present evidence that supports our claims, demonstrate contemplation and analysis, and keep open minds and hearts so we can learn together. Last week, I graded your Week 2 work, and I want to offer some class-wide feedback on your Week 2 work here:
  • Be sure to maintain present tense as you discuss literature. I posted an attachment showing how to do that in Week 3.
  • Use third person voice unless you are asked to share personal experiences. You don't usually need to say "I believe that. . ." when you are writing; readers already expect that you are sharing your convictions. Make every word count.
  • Be sure to proofread your work carefully before submitting it, always on the lookout for typos, apostrophe concerns, comma use, and fragments.
  • Work to provide a clear topic sentence, source support with accompanying analysis, and a clear conclusion. Developing this habit will prepare you for your first major essay in this class and for your mid-term and final.
  • I've attached a "Small Writing Assignments" document below to help you see how I score assignments. It will help you strengthen your writing.

Looking forward to Week 4:
  • Amy and Mary are our student moderators this week. Be sure to check back in after making your initial post so you may help them develop the conversation. You need to contribute to the discussions on at least two different days during the week to earn full credit for participating.
  • Here is a link to "The Open Boat": http://public.wsu.edu/~campbelld/crane/open.htm
  • With the conversion of this course into I-Learn 3, we've encountered a few strange things. One of them has been the study groups for each lesson--these were never intended for our course. Instead of posting your submissions during the lessons in "Study Group" discussion boards, you'll just submit your lesson-specific assignments IF our course designers can make the change by the time you want to post this week. As of 9:56 pm on October 1, the study groups are still in place. Follow the directions carefully and save your work. With fewer discussion board to post on each week, I hope you will be more active in "Questions for Your Classmates" discussion board and in our spiritual threads.
  • Finally, please don't rely on the I-Learn calendar to show you all your assignment due dates. You need to comb through the Weekly folders to ensure that you get everything done. Posting to the spiritual thread or asking a question in "Questions and Conversations" each week is optional. The "Questions for Your Classmates" discussion board is required.
  • Thank you for your diligent efforts in this class so far. Keep in mind that your first major essay draft is due for peer review at the end of Week 5. It ought to be five pages long.
Spiritual Thread:

Love

I heard this quote at least twice during Conference, and it was an answer to so many of my prayers. Even though I've heard it several times before, it was special to me during Conference. This week, I'm focusing on people rather than problems. I'll post here about what I notice as I work on this.

What will you do this week as a result of what you learned during General Conference?

I am praying for your happiness and success!
Sincerely,
Sister Bowen